Strength in the storm

Times are tough right now. Not just for us, but for everyone. I've had quite a few moments of total despair. Wondering when things will get better. I've asked for prayers, I've prayed every day and every night, and as soon as I see a little light at the end of the tunnel, BAM something happens.

Believe it or not, I am now more at peace at this moment than I have been in a long time. I know God is with me. I know Jesus fills my heart and soul. I know things will get better. I cannot let my faith waiver.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, let us all pray for each other. Let us all come together as one and pray that our circumstances improve and that we all open our eyes to all of God's blessings.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to show us the way to walk closer to you. To let our worries go and have faith in You and You alone. Thank you for waking us each day, for giving us time with our families, and for always providing in a way that only You can! In Jesus's name, Amen!



-"Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." (Matthew 14:22-33 ESV)

**I do not claim rights to any photos, quotes, etc in this blog.**

The Birthday Party!!!

My awesome little man will be 7 on Monday! Where has the time gone?!?!? So today we had a small family party and had such a blast!

My son, my miracle

I will never forget the morning of January 27, 2006. I was almost 31 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable, and just tired. I had woken up a few times throughout the night just unable to get comfortable. It was 6am. I had gone into the bathroom and had realized something wasn't right. I felt like I had started to pee my pants when I in fact did not need to use the bathroom.

I called the on call doctor and explained the situation. He said to come into the office at 8:30 when they opened. So I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, I got to see a doctor. During the exam he told me I was leaking amniotic fluid and needed to go to the hospital to be monitored, should be nothing to worry about. At the hospital, our roller coaster started.

It was about 10:30 at the hospital when another doctor came in to check me. I felt a cramp and a woosh! My water broke!!!! All the thoughts running through my mind were unbearable! I had earned a trip to a specialty hospital and into the ambulance I went.

After what seemed like forever, we arrived. The doctors did all they could to stop my labor, but my little man was bound and determined to meet me. A 6:45am, January 28, 2006, my son arrived at a mere 2lbs 8oz. He was 15 inches long. Not much bigger than a Barbie doll.

I will admit, I was scared. Scared for him. Scared that the doctors would tell me to give up. I was with my son everyday during his almost 9 weeks of NICU residency. I read to him. Bathed him. Fed him. Loved him with more passion and strength than I ever thought I could. March 28, 2006, my little man came home.

We had a rough transition. Monitors, medications, colic, etc but he was home. He was where he belonged, in my arms.

In just a few short days, that tiny baby, who fought everyday in that NICU will be 7 years old! He is my miracle from God! He's so smart, funny, and compassionate. He's my drive to keep my head up. He saved me.

I tell you this for a specific reason. Wen you think that things are hard or you think you just can't do it anymore, remember my little fighter. The boy that defeated his odds. He's in the gifted program at school, shows no residual signs of being a premature baby, and teaches me every day to value life and to love God with all my soul!

God Bless and keep smilin!

Stephanie

Finding Him again

I've been through a lot of trials in the last 8 months. A curious illness that no one seems to be able to diagnose, chronic pain, fatigue, and mood swings, being unable to work, and the list goes on and on. Now, like most people, I fell into a darkness. Constantly apologizing to everyone for being a burden, apologizing for being ill, and thinking no one understood what I was going through. May 25, 2012 was the first time I realized something was wrong physically. The amount of pain I was in, the unbelievable swelling of my ankles, fingers, knee and no one to give me answers, frightened me.

For several weeks, I fell into this darkness. I was angry for being ill. I was angry for being unable to help anyone, let alone myself. I was angry that I couldn't get rid of my pain. I was angry I couldn't walk unassisted. I was angry I couldn't perform my basic hygiene routine. At 26 years old, my husband had to bathe and dress me! We lost the house we were renting, barely able to get food, and I just sunk deeper and deeper into this darkness.

Before we had to move out of the house, I began to do some serious soul searching. God was knocking, I had to let Him in! My mind began to race of all the things I had done wrong in my past, the things that I knew I shouldn't have done, and I bowed my head and said, " God, I know I've done a lot of things wrong in my life. I know I have strayed away from you and thought I knew better for myself. I was wrong. Please, I want you back in my heart, my life, my home. I'm giving myself completely to you and am listening. Give me that first step."

Later that very same day, I got a phone call from my mother in law. She wanted me to go to acupuncture with her to see how it helps my pain (mind you, at this point I was on heavy pain killers and over 1800 mg of ibuprofen). So I said sure, I mean why not give it a shot. That was my first step.

I have been going to acupuncture once a week since the beginning of July. I am now almost completely back to normal. I have some pain here and there, but it's tolerable. No more medication! No more crutches, wheelchairs, walkers. God made it possible for me to be relieved of my physical suffering. He worked through others to give me a life again!

Every single day since I gave my life back to God, I have seen improvement in every area of my life. Are things perfect, no. Do we still struggle, yes. But, God is always with me. He is always listening, always watching, always providing. There is a lot of turbulence in everyone's lives. That's part of our earthly being. How you handle these things, is another story.

On another note, managing my emotions and reactions to my circumstances has become a lot easier through the Word of God. That has dramatically changed my outlook on life :) I have found my purpose. I have found the light again. That darkness is gone. I have hope. I have peace. I have joy. It's an incredible feeling knowing you're never alone in any type of battle. I was one of the lost, but I am lost no longer. Everyone has a purpose. Everyone is here for a reason. Do you know your reason? Have you allowed Jesus to take control of your life, the way it should be?

I'm going to leave you with this. No one is perfect. Striving for absolute perfection, approval from others, is not what's going to give you joy and peace. Walking with God will.

If you haven't yet, please give yourself over to The Lord. Let Him take control and give you the life He intended you to have. Jesus is knocking, will you let Him in?

God Bless and keep smilin!

Stephanie

Been way too long!

Hey everyone! It's been a month since I last blogged and so much has happened. Between Christmas and New Years, my sons birthday in 8 days, I've been one busy woman!

Our Christmas was fantastic! We are very very blessed to have each other. New Years was just our little family of three, watching the ball drop together. I have gone over what mistakes I've made in 2012 and what I learned from that. I rededicated my life to Jesus. There is so much that I want to do for this year.

I have been looking at an online program for Evangelism. I really feel that besides being home to take care of my husband and son, The Lord is calling me to do even more! I am so ready to take on anything He wants me to do. I am just so happy that He is in my heart, my home, and our lives!

The biggest announcement is we finally found a church home! Such an amazing group of Christians!! We have found somewhere we fit in :) which is an amazing feeling.

Since I'm rattling on and on and on with no real direction for this post, I am going to do my very very best to blog everyday. I have decided that I'd like to change this here a big so we will see where that goes. Remember, He is in control. Do not worry about earthly things and give your worries to God. He is waiting for you to open the door for Him to enter your life.

God Bless and keep smilin!

Stephanie